Government voids all the marriages, to issue new wives soon

Government, in its attempt to placate men fed up of their better-halves has voided all the existing marriages with effect from midnight today. Announcement to this effect was made by Mr Modi in his address to the nation today.  Modi in his address said- “Wives had started to take us for granted. They used to blackmail us. This became rampant during recent Karvachaut when many wives threatened their husbands of not keeping the fast. Like black money, this is also a menace.”

As per this new rule, all the existing marriages stand cancelled from midnight.  Government will issue new wives in exchange of old one from tomorrow. Everyone will have 50 days time to get married to their new partners failing which their right to marry would be suspended forever. Meanwhile, all the temples, churches, mosques, banquet halls, courts will remain closed for next 7 days. Newly-wed couples, who are on their honeymoon abroad have been given some concession. They can keep their wives till they return back.

Over the next  two weeks there will be an upper cap to the time one can spend with their wives. No one can spend more than 2 hours of time with their wives. People who are not married and want to spend time with someone else’s wife can do so by getting a written permission from the legitimate owner. This decision has not gone down well with other political parties. Mr Arvind Kejriwal from AAP is disappointed by this decision. He said, “If they had just cancelled all marriages, we would have supported Modi ji. When he wants to empower us men, why does he marry us again? All the BJP members already knew about this. That is why Mr Atal Bihari Vajpayee never married and Modi ji left his wife. This is not fair. He is cheating  the people of this country.”

Rahul Gandhi representing the bachelors of the country said that this rule was biased towards all the married men. Talking to Falsepost he said,” What about unmarried people like me? We too are fed up with our girlfriends but there is no relief for us. Because Modi ji is married, he has taken care of his interests, ignoring all of us”. Meanwhile, one married man was reported to be dead after hearing this news. Sources say that he could contain his happiness and died of heart attack.